'Red One' is no fun: Dwayne Johnson's career on ice
"Red One" attempts to merge your average action movie plot with the warm, cozy nature of the holidays but falls flat by never going beyond the genre's conventions.
The film follows Jack O'Malley (Chris Evans) who joins Callum Drift (Dwayne Johnson) and Agent Garcia (Reinaldo Faberlle), members of the E.L.F. task force entrusted with rescuing Santa (J. K. Simmons) who was kidnapped right before Christmas. The team is also assisted by the director of M.O.R.A., Zoe Harlow (Lucy Liu).
On paper, this idea already seems trite but on screen, it fares far worse due to some extremely shoddy filmmaking. One would expect a decent amount of effort to be placed into the action, or at the very least, making it look good. But, the CGI and green screen elements are bafflingly bad, especially considering the film's $250 million budget.
The choreography is also mind-numbingly uninteresting, featuring these Marvel-esqe quick cuts that minimize the impact of any hits. There's also no dramatic tension during any of these fights because as contractually obligated, Johnson can never lose a fight on screen.
The cast does a serviceable job at bringing this tale to life, but it's clear that to most, this was simply just an excuse to get paid handsomely. Johnson, despite receiving top billing, proves that he has the acting depth of a Saharan puddle with this ever-present look of boredom beneath his eyes that betrays any passion for Christmas that his character is supposed to have.
On the other hand, Evans manages to seem committed the whole way through, portraying something akin to a modern-day Ebenezer Scrooge, complete with a scene of him literally stealing candy from a baby. He steals the show (which considering how droll the show is, that really isn't saying much), despite his performance feeling like a neutered version of his character in "Knives Out."
As a whole, the film is extremely formulaic, with a plot structure so generic that you can guess entire reams of dialogue 10 minutes before they ever happen. The script is also shockingly unfunny, choosing to go for some of the most baseline, obvious jokes you could possibly imagine. A majority of the "jokes" rely heavily on the inherent humor found in yelling swear words or someone getting kicked in the crotch (this happens three times and never stops being eye-roll-inducing), so the immature audience members remain entertained.
There's a distinct lack of joy found in this Christmas film too, exemplified by this movie's interpretation of the North Pole. Usually, films choose to depict the North Pole as a colorful, relentlessly white wonderland, populated by jolly elves and snowmen. But in "Red One," the North Pole is a dark and mechanized nightmare, resembling Gotham City rather than Santa's workshop.
The only exception to this film's unending mediocrity is the brief detour the characters take to meet up with Santa's evil brother, Krampus (Kristofer Hivju). The film chooses to depict Krampus as the towering, muscular beast, surrounded by other grotesque monsters that wouldn't look out of place in your average "Dungeons and Dragons" campaign. Unlike every other aspect of this film, it seems like genuine effort was put into the practical effects, and it makes every mythological creature in this section feel tangible.
But, despite that glimmer of hope, "Red One" is a slog that painfully shows how disposable Johnson's filmography really is. This generic action movie formula that usually manages to accrue massive box office numbers has gone stale, and it's obvious this film needed to rise above its conventions to keep the audience's attention.
If they had cut the run time down, reduced the reliance on CGI and put more effort into fleshing out their ideas, then maybe "Red One" could've been a new Christmas classic. But instead, we're left with a disappointing reminder of how lifeless action blockbusters have become a poor attempt at banking on the holiday spirit.
