FUCHS: Instead of commercializing love, we should use Valentine's Day to remind ourselves of love we have
Column: Questioning Jules
During the season of Valentine’s Day, it can be hard for a lot of people. Some individuals are going through recent breakups, have never been in a relationship or just do not like the holiday. I am personally a hater of Valentine’s Day. Despite being a hopeless romantic, there is nothing I hate more than this holiday. It is overly commercialized, makes a lot of people feel bad and is really just a ploy for companies, such as Hallmark, to make more money.
What I hate most about this holiday is the idea of one whole day dedicated to love and appreciation. I know — that probably sounds terrible on initial reading. But, I think it is important to show those you love that you care for them every day. People use Valentine’s Day as an excuse to express their emotions to the people in their lives and, in many cases, show love to themselves.
Despite all of the gifts, cards and festivities, there is still a lot of negativity in the world. I cannot speak for everyone, but as a busy college student, I do not always feel the "love" or show myself the love I deserve. Additionally, it can be hard to find time to show people attentive care on a daily basis. Even more, just having people to love and who love you is a blessing. Because we take things for granted like this, due to the secure feeling of it, we often forget to express these feelings.
Sure, Valentine’s Day is a nice reminder to do all of these things, and it does feel nice to receive gifts. I personally use this day as an excuse to buy myself flowers and chocolate-covered strawberries — something I would do even if I were dating someone. Regardless of relationship status, it is just as important to love yourself as you love others.
This can also be difficult on a daily basis as students are tasked with balancing school, work, extracurricular activities and personal relationships. Single or taken, I have always hated Valentine’s Day for this reason. Love should be celebrated every day and understood as something that is not solely romantic.
Valentine’s Day can also be harmful to people who have issues with love in their life, while potentially teaching bad life lessons to children. As a result of how romanticized the holiday is, kids are taught that Valentine’s Day is only for lovers and are not taught the concept of love being more complex than a romantic relationship. Love comes in many forms, yet this fact is often ignored.
I know that I probably sound like a hater, but I just think there are so many other ways to show love for people and other forms of love than are celebrated in conventional Valentine’s Day festivities. One of the ways in which school organizations celebrate love is by sending out Valentine’s cards to others. Chi Alpha, a Christian fellowship that I am a part of, is holding an event to make cards for others to share love and affirmations in general for other members of the student body.
The cards will then be distributed to students through a tabling event for students to read and enjoy. There are some rather tolerable Valentine’s Day events, but for the most part, it seems as if they are toxic and reinforce the idea that love can only be romantic. Plus, even for love that is romantic, you should show love to your partner every day.
My biggest issue with Valentine’s Day is perhaps the history of it. Valentine’s Day supposedly commemorates Saint Valentine who was known to be loving and gave out the first Valentine’s Day greeting before his execution. It is sweet to carry on this tradition, but his messages are often misconstrued. Saint Valentine is said to have been executed for refusing to renounce his Christian views. He was known to celebrate and teach the idea of true love — which is not exclusively romantic.
The holiday is Christian but is given no religious commemoration nor a single shed of light on the life of Saint Valentine who was killed for his beliefs. This is similar to how Christmas is commercialized and the true meaning is taken away from it. There is no education on Saint Valentine in school — which would be fine if the holiday was not so widely celebrated. Regardless of whether you are religious, his life deserves to be honored and his name remembered for more than just rom-coms and tacky cards.
This Valentine’s Day, try to remember a few things. First and foremost, remember the reason why we celebrate: to commemorate Saint Valentine. Remember, too, that love is something that should always be celebrated and shared, and ask yourself before buying your friends flowers or cards if you show them love every day. If the answer is no, then the gifts mean absolutely nothing.
Julia Fuchs is a graduate student in the Department of Art History studying cultural heritage and preservation. Her column, "Questioning Jules," runs on alternate Thursdays.
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