Crushed by your crush? Here’s how to decode whether they like you back

It’s the question we’ve been asking for centuries: How do I know if they like me back?

I’ll be the first to admit I’m no Carrie Bradshaw, and New Brunswick is no New York City. But as a girl who is just as romantically confused as everyone around her, I've found the number one best way to tell if someone has interest in me is to trust my intuition.

I've also found that figuring out whether someone is interested is not hard or complicated — we're the ones that make it that way! People are relatively straightforward and terribly predictable most of the time. If you feel good about your relationship, it’s probably because whoever you're with means for you to feel that way (ladies interested in men: No more of this “guys tease girls who they like” business).

You deserve to be treated with kindness and respect, and if someone really likes you, that is what they will give you. That kindness and respect you deserve can manifest in many different ways, like if ...

They don’t make you question your every move

If you have to gather around your phone with your friends and spend 15 minutes coming up with the perfect six-word text to show them you care, not too much but just enough — that's an immediate red flag.

If they play games and make you question your entire existence or say one thing but do another, they don't like you. You’re their source of entertainment for the week. If they make you question your worth, your sanity or your standards, run for the hills! The right person will make you feel secure in yourself and their feelings toward you, not make you question your decisions.

They make time for you

You don’t have to spend hours on end trying to decipher their cryptic texts. You don’t have to wait three days before you hear from them or anxiously check your phone every 5 minutes hoping they respond. If someone truly likes you, they will respect your time and reciprocate by making time in their day and intentionally spending it with you. Waiting by the phone for a half-a**** text at 3 a.m. is not hot girl s***.

When they see you, they’re excited to talk to you

And I don’t mean a superficial hug hello and goodbye. I mean they Want (with a capital w) to talk to you! They want to know about you and the things you like. They don’t see you for a minute and then ditch you for their friends for the rest of the night. If a person likes you, they’re more than likely going to relish the opportunity of running into you as a time to get closer and establish a better relationship.

They make you feel at ease

If someone likes you and you like them, then conversations should come with ease. When there's a connection, there should be a natural ebb and flow with your relationship, and you don’t feel the need to impress them. That’s not to say that they don’t give you butterflies or make you nervous, but if someone likes you, I believe you can feel it in your soul.

There’s that little sigh of “oh, this person actually enjoys my company and is probably going to stick around for a while. Maybe I can let some of my walls down and actually get to know them a little.”

When someone makes you feel like you can talk to them freely and without censoring yourself, it’s a good sign.

They take every opportunity to touch you

I don’t think that touch alone means that someone has a crush on you. A lot of times people are just horny or flirty or don’t understand what they’re doing. Humans are physical beings, but we're also intentional and calculated. If someone is constantly touching you or hugging you and basically taking every opportunity humanly possible to make physical contact with you, it probably means something is up.

If they wanted to, they would

Read it again. Then say it out loud for the people in the back. Understanding the value in no response being your response is so important.

Sometimes inaction speaks louder than both actions and words. I think people have gotten used to reading in between the lines — trying to find meaning in things and events that sometimes just don’t have meaning has bred an inability to take people at face value. It’s not your responsibility to figure out what someone’s next moves are. Anyone who makes you feel like you have to decode something is probably not worth your time anyway.

The good news is that as we get older, the more and more likely it is that what you see is what you get. The real issues start to arise when we can’t accept what we’ve been given.

Next time you find yourself wondering if they're going to text you or ask you to hang out again — or even if you’re in a relationship and wondering if your partner is going to take that next step or say "I love you" — just remember: If they wanted to, they would. Sometimes it’s just not that deep.

While these tips can give you a head start, the only way you will ever know how someone feels about you — and not through rumor or word of mouth — is to ask that person. In my experience, being direct has always been the way to handle relationships. We make it harder than it needs to be because we think we can’t handle the rejection. We think, “if they don’t like me back, I'll die of embarrassment.”

We personalize someone not being interested and see any form of rejection as a reflection of our character, or sometimes even an offense to our looks, instead of what it really is: just life. You won’t die if your crush doesn’t like you back. Your ego may be bruised, but just like every other inconvenience in life, you will pick yourself up and try again.

And who knows? Things may work out, but you will never know until buckle up and try — and in the meantime, face the possibility that sometimes they don’t.