FUCHS: Simple keys to finding happiness
Column: Questioning Jules
Lately, I have been on a huge “French philosophers” kick, probably due to my literature class this semester. Some of the ideas I have read about and questions I have pondered have been very relevant to my life today and the world around me. Jean Jacques Rousseau’s “Cinquième Promenade,” which is part of a series of essays, especially resonates with me.
Let us unpack this. So this essay is about happiness and what Rousseau experienced while happy. To give you a little background, during the time he wrote this, he was in exile on an island off the coast of Switzerland. The island was small, and there were not a lot of people around him. He was left alone with his thoughts. This was one of the only times in his life when he felt truly happy.
This got me thinking: What does it truly mean to be happy? If it is that simple, then why are so many people so unhappy?
I cannot by any means speak for everyone, of course. I do understand that a lot of people have difficult lives and have to worry about their primary needs — food, shelter, water — to the point that happiness is a second thought.
I feel in my experience, and based on a lot of the people I have known in my life, unhappiness is due to two things: unrealistic expectations and ungrateful attitudes.
Many people, myself included, hold themselves to ridiculous expectations. This is a huge issue in American society. We plan out our entire lives before they have even begun. Some of us want to go to college, graduate, get a job, be married and have children by age 30. By that age, some of us want to get a high-paying job out of high school and have our own house, car and debts paid off.
The truth is, what is meant to happen will happen. If you are meant to go to college, graduate school, get a job, travel, get married, etc., it will happen. Things that do not happen, happen for a good reason.
Not only in terms of the constant pressure we put on ourselves, but also our expectations for being happy are in themselves completely unrealistic. In my opinion and experience, most people, who do not identify as being happy, picture being happy as being in a constant state of joy and good graces.
The truth is, as Rousseau points out, being happy is more like being content. Happy people still have good days and bad days — they get angry, sad, scared and anxious. Happy people are aware of this.
To be in a constant state of joy is not possible. Life throws so many curveballs at us, and nobody’s life is perfect. To expect happiness to be constant joy and energy is not fair to yourself and others. To achieve true happiness is to achieve peace and acceptance of the many challenges life throws at us.
I also want to unpack another important factor to consider: gratefulness. I think this is where most people struggle. I am just as guilty as anyone else of being overly consumed in my problems to the point of forgetting to be grateful for all that life has given me. When I become ungrateful and upset, I think about all that I have. I have a family, friends, wonderful people in my life and pets to love.
I have a healthy body, a house to live in, food to eat, water to drink, a computer to write this article on. Even in the hardest of times, there is always something to be grateful for — it is important not to take people or things for granted.
Being grateful and having realistic expectations is how one achieves true happiness. Happiness is constant, with many ups and downs. But to be a happy person is to embrace each experience you have and live in a constant state of peace, reverting back to the simple and little things in your life.
Julia Fuchs is a School of Arts and Sciences junior majoring in history and anthropology and minoring in French and archaeology. Her column, "Questioning Jules," runs on alternate Thursdays.
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