TANG: Ghosting should not haunt your life
In today's society, we are more connected than ever. Who would have thought that something once so simple as communication could now cause so much stress? One particularly damaging behavior is ghosting romantically, platonically or professionally.
Psychology Today defines ghosting as abruptly ending communication with someone without an explanation. Although the term is more commonly used in romantic contexts, it applies to friendships and workplace relationships as well.
While, in theory, ghosting may seem like a harmless way to avoid confrontation, it can be emotionally damaging. It can leave the other person feeling confused, hurt or even questioning their worth. Especially living in a time where texting someone back or digitally communicating is seemingly effortless, it is alarming how easily individuals can disconnect from others.
Ghosting may feel like the easy way out when it is an act of emotional negligence. Barbara Field explains that ghosting stems from the desire to avoid uncomfortable situations. Whether these situations are to express disinterest or to avoid awkwardness when delivering bad news, the digital age makes it easy for us to disappear on demand.
While it may be simple, it lacks the emotional consideration of the other person. Ghosting someone shows that one disregards their emotional impact on the other person. It also prioritizes the ghoster's discomfort with confrontation or difficult situations all while denying the other person's opportunity to understand or process the problem, leaving them to deal with it on their own.
Studies show that individuals with high levels of narcissism and callousness — a trait characterized by a lack of empathy and a disregard for others' feelings — are more likely to use ghosting as a method for ending relationships.
When someone suddenly cuts off communication without an explanation, it creates a void that can trigger feelings of abandonment and self-doubt. The lack of closure that comes with ghosting makes it harder to process the end of a relationship. A conversation offers a sense of clarity and finality.
Research shows that rejection significantly affects self-esteem and mental health, but adding ambiguity to this makes the situation worse. The emotional toll makes it harder for individuals to move on and can affect their trust in future relationships. If individuals are constantly being ghosted, they can become numb to abandonment.
Stacey Diane Arañez Litam, a licensed professional clinical counselor, board-certified diplomate and Forbes Health Advisory Board member explains that individuals who are ghosted may develop negative beliefs that undermine their sense of self-worth, making them feel unworthy of love or meaningful connections.
In this era, where it can be easy to forget there is another person on the other side of the screen, empathy is crucial when communicating digitally. When we engage online, whether through social media, texting or dating apps, it is easy to treat others as abstractions, faceless profiles or just names on a screen.
But every interaction involves a real person with emotions, flaws and insecurities. Understanding and remembering their humanity allows individuals to foster healthier and more respectful connections. Ghosting is not solely about avoiding confrontation — it is avoiding the responsibility to acknowledge someone's feelings and offer basic respect through communication.
There is no excuse for ghosting. Staying connected has never been easier. The idea that ghosting results from "not having the time" or "avoiding confrontation" does not make sense in a society where clear, respectful communication is not only possible but also expected.
Choosing ghosting over a brief, honest conversation is a conscious decision to avoid responsibility and compassion. Choosing to ghost passes up the opportunity for self-reflection and growth.
Beyond not being accountable in relationships, this act should not be continuously condoned. Taking accountability for your actions can lead to higher team morale, productivity, perceived competence and commitment, as well as an overall boost in organizational performance, which should be championed in any environment.
If ghosting continues to be normalized, we risk fostering a culture where people regularly avoid accountability and difficult conversations, instead prioritizing their comfort over others' emotional well-being.
This pattern not only harms relationships in the short term but also perpetuates emotional immaturity and weakens essential communication skills. Over time, it becomes harder to build trust, resolve conflicts or maintain meaningful connections as individuals become able to deal with discomfort and are more inclined to take the easy way out.
This unwillingness to engage openly and honestly not only hurts relationships but also stunts personal growth, making it harder for people to develop the emotional maturity needed for healthy interactions in all areas of life.
Kelly Tang is a junior in the Rutgers Business School majoring in Finance and Supply Chain Management. Tang’s column, “Don’t Get Me Started,” runs on alternate Wednesdays.
*Columns, cartoons, letters and commentaries do not necessarily reflect the views of the Targum Publishing Company or its staff.
YOUR VOICE | The Daily Targum welcomes submissions from all readers. Letters to the editor must be between 350 and 600 words. Commentaries must be between 600 and 900 words. All authors must include their name, phone number, class year and college affiliation or department to be considered for publication. Please submit via email to oped@dailytargum.com and eic@dailytargum.com to be considered for publication.
