AGRAWAL: Navigating politics in our social circles
Doomscrolling on social media on November 6 involved witnessing a wave of hopelessness roll over Rutgers students, or at least the ones I follow on Instagram. Despite being a working Wednesday, the College Avenue campus was particularly quiet, which the gloomy weather only worsened.
Everything felt like it was falling apart, but there was nothing anybody could do about it anymore, except cast blame.
"It's not about them being Republican — it's about them supporting Trump. He is a felon, a rapist, a racist and hates women. That says to me that those who voted for him share the same values, which are not mine," one polled Democrat wrote.
Some people took to social media platforms publicly announcing that they did not want to associate with people who voted for President-elect Donald J. Trump.
Vice President Kamala Harris and Trump presented markedly different visions for the U.S. during the 2024 presidential election.
Some may tolerate differences better, which was especially common when political agendas were more aligned. But with growing polarization and increased importance of this election, policy disagreements often reflect deeper struggles to protect fundamental rights.
A recent study highlights that the more individuals are strongly driven by intentions to persuade others, the less stable their social networks become, often leading to a higher rate of lost connections.
This phenomenon underscores the challenges of engaging in dialogue across ideological divides. While it is not inherently wrong to hope for others to reconsider their views, these efforts often risk straining or even severing relationships, particularly in a polarized environment.
In such a climate, it is essential to recognize that deeply held political values are often inseparable from personal identity. Asking someone to compromise on these values or set them aside for the sake of harmony ignores the profound ways in which they shape an individual's worldview and connections.
It may be commendable if differences of opinion do not affect your relationships, but it is important to recognize that others might find it harder to separate the two.
This is not all to say that politics is not a valid enough reason to want to end a friendship. Friendships are built on mutual respect and understanding, and no one is obligated to maintain a relationship that conflicts with their core values. Politics is significant enough to influence such decisions, and that is a reality we need to accept.
Despite these challenges, there are ways to approach these conversations constructively and preserve meaningful relationships.
If you are willing to find a way to sustain your friendships and want to avoid letting the election results ruin them, I want to bring up another approach to handling it. Avoidance of the topic altogether is only going to push for a bigger outburst in the future, so we will not do that.
First, let us make one thing clear: This election was not a landslide. In the end, Trump was expected to win the national popular vote by a margin of approximately 1.6 percent, marking the closest victory since the extremely narrow election results in 2000. This only goes to show that this was one of the most divided elections of all time.
Trump supporters include people from all walks of life, from baristas to professors to even those we may hold close. Like many Democrats, I find it hard to understand how anyone could support someone who has made offensive remarks about women, immigrants and military veterans. Yet, millions of people voted for Trump, including those around you. To understand why, we must engage with them.
Some liberals may resist talking to Trump supporters, questioning why they should converse with someone who "hates" them. But that assumption is not only unfounded but also mirrors the kind of intolerance we criticize.
For those worried that engaging with Trump supporters might normalize him, it is time to accept that he is already a part of the political norm. While this reality may be uncomfortable, retreating into echo chambers will not help us make sense of it.
Rather than expecting others to change, fostering mutual respect and understanding, even amid disagreement, maybe the only way to maintain relationships without compromising one's own integrity.
While we may hope for a future where politics do not divide us, we must accept that political beliefs profoundly shape relationships and identities. The 2024 election highlighted these divisions, making it clear they will not simply disappear. Isolating ourselves in ideological silos only deepens the divide.
The real challenge is to rise above these differences — not by abandoning our values but by fostering understanding through honest, courageous conversations. The choice is ours: to let politics fracture our connections or to prove that relationships can endure even profound disagreements.
Khushi Agrawal is a sophomore in the School of Arts and Sciences majoring in Cognitive Science and Information Technology and Informatics and minoring in Digital Communication, Information and Media. Agrawal's column, "Scarlet Perspectives," runs on alternate Tuesdays.
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