SHEHATA: College students should embrace solitude
These thoughts often come into our heads: "I cannot be alone with my thoughts, so I will just go on my phone." Other times, we may think, "Do people think I have no friends? Let me open my phone and text someone."
As a result of this thought process, many young people use their phones to distract themselves. Technology continues to evolve, and people have become increasingly attached to the idea of living online.
Practically any social interaction can be done in an online environment. If you do not have anyone to talk to, you can chat with artificial intelligence. Technology and social media have made it easy to escape being alone with ourselves.
There are consequences to this extreme avoidance. The inability or fear of being alone is a growing problem for Generation Z. It is mainly because people are unaware of how crucial it is to embrace solitude for mental and emotional well-being.
Students constantly stimulate themselves to avoid time alone with their thoughts. The need for stimulation is usually because we are afraid to be alone with ourselves. Beverly D. Flaxington, a behavioral expert, explains that it could be due to "what we say to ourselves once we enter that stillness."
As a generation, we have normalized self-deprecating jokes. We allow ourselves to say cruel things about ourselves and be rewarded with a laugh. When we are left alone in our thoughts, we continue criticizing ourselves but do not get the reward. Our mind is no longer a safe space. We play loud music, doomscroll on TikTok or stalk other people's profiles to avoid the stillness.
Another reason for the attachment to our phones could be a fear of loneliness. We search for social interactions online instead of engaging in small talk with the person next to us.
Being alone for a short period of time does not lead to depression and feelings of loneliness, and yet we are still afraid to be with ourselves because we do not understand this on a meaningful level. Through social media, we seek out parasocial relationships or maybe interact with a friend.
Research shows that lonely people become attached to products like phones because they compensate for their lack of meaningful relationships. Social media does not help feelings of loneliness. In many cases, the quality of the interaction may be insufficient to bring comfort to a person.
There is a significant difference between solitude and loneliness. Solitude is choosing to be alone and engaging in self-reflection, while loneliness is the feeling of sadness or social isolation.
Karin Arndt, a licensed clinical psychologist, believes that constantly being online hinders our ability to enjoy solitude. She explains that "the capacity to be alone well means developing a greater tolerance for, and intimacy with, your experience." Solitude gives a person the chance to know themselves better.
It is natural to feel emotions like jealousy or anger, but if we do not take the time to understand and process them, we risk making decisions we may regret later. Our lives have become fast-paced, and consuming media at the rate we do is draining. Being alone with yourself slows life down. You get to people-watch and see the beauty in your environment instead of blurring everything around you while watching the world burn on your phone.
It does not have to feel lonely to be alone. You can reflect on your day while going on a solo walk or journaling. Reframing solitude as self-care can remove the stigma of being alone. If you tend to be overly self-critical, words of affirmation can help.
You can gradually reduce your dependency on your phone and social media. By embracing solitude, you can foster a deeper connection with yourself, allowing room for personal growth, mental clarity and emotional resilience.
In a world that constantly pushes us toward superficial connections, learning to be comfortable with solitude is an act of self-care. It enables us to nurture a more profound self-awareness, reflect on our experiences and reduce the mental clutter that often overwhelms us. Though being alone may feel intimidating initially, reframing it as an opportunity for self-growth can shift our perspective, making it a powerful tool for improving mental well-being.
Ultimately, finding peace in solitude will strengthen our relationship with ourselves and allow us to engage more meaningfully with the world around us.
Somiah Shehata is a freshman in the School of Arts and Sciences majoring in journalism and media studies. Her column, “Anything and Everything,” runs on alternate Wednesdays.
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