EDITORIAL: Helicopter parents chop student success
For most, college is a formative time. It is a time when students have the ability to study what they want, design class schedules to fit their own time preferences and are not under constant adult supervision. Like any increase in freedom, building new structures in one's life can be daunting, but it is necessary and can usually happen successfully.
But this regular development is threatened by the excessive involvement of parents in their child's college life. This issue has recently gained more attention after a post on the social media platform X went viral.
In the post, screenshots from a Purdue University parents' Facebook group for incoming first-years detail some concerning views parents have.
For example, one member posted about driving several hours to Purdue to talk to their son's roommate about playing loud video games and having girls over.
These posts reflect a broader parenting trend colloquially known as helicopter parenting. This parenting style involves parents who micromanage their children's lives and feel the need to save them from the slightest of issues.
It is helpful to understand this parenting style's origin and impact. It emerged from two major shifts in the U.S., the first being the rise in crime during the 1980s. With perceptions of crime reinforced by the missing-children milk carton program, the idea of closely monitoring one's child seemed like much more of a necessity.
Coinciding with this concern about the rising crime rate was a booming economy in the 1990s fueled by increases in technological innovations, low oil prices and productivity.
This booming economy gave parents more disposable income, allowing them to put their children in after-school activities. As a result, many children traded their valuable free time for closely monitored scheduled activities.
This cause extends into the 2000s. With the 2008 financial crisis destroying consumer confidence and the rising cost of college, the choice to pursue a post-secondary education became more of an investment. For parents shelling out tens of thousands of dollars to send their children to college, it is no wonder they maintained this helicopter mentality.
Now that the causes are identified, what is the impact?
One of the most glaring effects is that these college students have worse mental health outcomes. College students with helicopter parents are more likely to be medicated for anxiety and depression.
The explanation is pretty intuitive. When a student has grown up with a parent ready to bail them out of any situation, what might seem like small setbacks, such as a bad grade or a minor disagreement with a roommate, are perceived to be much bigger failures.
On top of this worsened mental health, the truth is that these college students do not develop the skills needed to succeed in life. In her 2015 book, "How to Raise an Adult, former dean of first-years at Stanford University, Julie Lythcott-Haims, discusses a situation in which a first-year student’s mother had to contact the resident fellow to help move some heavy boxes because he did not know how to ask for help.
Lythcott-Haims also talks to an emergency room physician in Washington, D.C., who described 19-year-old college students as her "least favorite patients" because they come in with colds and upper respiratory infections and demand antibiotics or hospital admittance.
If a student who can vote, give consent, drive and sign legal contracts cannot handle a simple cold without a major freakout, how can we expect them to handle much bigger conflicts in the real world, especially ones not in a textbook?
Some might read this article and think the prevalence of these helicopter parents is just a few bad apples. The truth is that 40-60 percent of parents with children at a public four-year university are estimated to be classified as a helicopter parent.
This seems to affect all sorts of demographic groups regardless of race, socioeconomic status, gender or whether the student is a first-generation college student. To put it bluntly, this is a serious issue that needs to be addressed.
After reading this article, you might wonder how to fix this problem. The answer has two layers.
Students, start learning to do things on your own. Your parents are not always going to be around to bail you out. If you are facing a conflict, think about how to solve it alone or with the resources available around you.
Will you struggle? Sure, but that is how you learn any skill. It might not be fun at first, but powering through adversity is part of life, so the sooner you get used to it, the better.
Parents, loosen the reigns. The child you send to a residence hall room is not 10 years old. They are adults and must be treated that way. Your child is going to struggle at college, and that is OK. Be there to empathize and serve as a soundboard, not to intervene and solve problems. But the most important thing a parent can do is get a hobby that is not their child.
The Daily Targum's editorials represent the views of the majority of the 156th editorial board. Columns, cartoons and letters do not necessarily reflect the views of the Targum Publishing Company or its staff.
