Valentine's Day guide to self-love essentials

To many, the notion of being single on Valentine's Day while still feeling good about yourself feels contradictory, but it doesn't have to be this way. Valentine's Day is all about love, and who better to love than yourself? 

Self-care, which involves "speaking to and about yourself with compassion and respect ... giving yourself what you need and fully embracing every part of yourself," is often taken for granted. Although it may seem trivial, it's a vital step toward achieving self-love. 

While it seems simple, truly learning to love yourself takes a lot of time and effort. Here's where you can start.

Learn about yourself

Self-love is a skill that needs to be learned. It can't possibly be taught in one day, but Valentine's Day is a great opportunity to begin. The first step is to take the time to learn about yourself. 

Write down and keep a list of everything that you enjoy or that makes you happy. This can be anything from a hobby to a specific food or your favorite movie. Whenever you're feeling down, come back to this list.

It's good to know what activities you can turn to in times of stress, sadness or anger. But it's also important to find new things. Even if you have to do it on your own, try doing things you wouldn't normally do. You never know — you may find something new to add to the list.

Embrace your self-confidence

The next step toward self-love is to build your self-confidence. A great way to begin this process is to go through your closet. 

Find and plan outfits for the future that will make you feel your best. Pair items you normally wouldn't wear together or scroll through Pinterest to find unique ways to layer the clothing you already have. 

Additionally, it's important to find sources of inspiration. Whether it's through a TED Talk or any other sort of educational video, listen to the advice others give on embracing your confidence. 

Date yourself 

Here is where self-care becomes a part of self-love. Combine your newfound confidence with your list of things that make you happy so you can treat yourself. 

Whether it's baking brownies, putting on under-eye patches, curling up with a blanket and a book or laying on the couch and binge-watching the show you've been meaning to start, relax! Why stop there? Try buying that boba tea that you've been wanting or take an "everything shower" where you can apply a hair mask, face mask and lotion treatment.

Don't wait around for your crush to buy you flowers — get them yourself! According to research led by Jeannette Haviland-Jones, a professor emerita in the University's Department of Psychology, "the presence of flowers triggers happy emotions, heightens feelings of life satisfaction and affects social behavior in a positive manner."

You can also try hand-writing a love letter to yourself, filled with genuine compliments and affirmations. Take a moment to reflect on all the little things that make you, you. Remind yourself of positive memories and moments where you made yourself proud. Don't be concerned with feeling conceited — this is a moment to truly see the beauty in yourself. 

While it may seem difficult at first to believe that self-care will make you feel any better, it's crucial to remember that it's a vital step to achieving self-love. Valentine's Day can be a lonely day for some — it's important to acknowledge these feelings. 

Remember: You're your own lifelong partner. No one knows you better or can treat you better than you can!