CRUZ: Toxic relationships are glorified in mainstream media
Column: One Million Percent
The Galápagos Islands are home to a small bird species known as the vampire finch. This unique type of ground finch received its name from occasionally drinking the blood of a type of marine bird, the blue-footed booby, when food is scarce.
The strangest thing about this interaction (besides the presence of a vampiric bird) is that the blue-footed boobies do not resist. It is theorized that the blue-footed boobies may believe the finches are just providing a service as they used to help remove insects and other parasites in their feathers.
While nobody knows the exact reasoning for certain, we do know that the birds allow this to continue despite them clearly being hurt by it.
While rare in the animal kingdom, this situation is all too common in today's society. Often, we may see or hear about relationships with physical or emotional abuse and overall torment and wonder how anyone could stay in a situation like that.
But the gaslighting, trauma bonds, obsession and more that people endure can all be tied back to the media we consume on a daily basis.
We are exposed to examples of toxicity in relationships as early as toddler age. It appears in some of the most popular films that are seemingly benign and jovial such as "Beauty and the Beast" and "Grease" and grows more apparent in films geared towards older audiences like "Twilight" and "Fifty Shades of Grey."
And, of course, no one can forget Britney Spears' aptly named hit song, "Toxic."
For the younger or inexperienced audience, these songs, movies and TV shows are a peek into this relationship dynamic. Once the opportunity for romance finally arises, we become reflections of what we have consumed over time, potentially thinking this kind of behavior is the norm.
When the people around us mimic these skewed dynamics, it only supports the notion that this must be the right way to go about love.
Some of the most popular artists today have become synonymous with toxicity and are even praised for it. SZA, The Weeknd, Brent Faiyaz and others make frequent references to infidelity and feelings of resentment toward present or past partners in their music. Faiyaz has even been nicknamed the "Toxic King" by the public.
This is not to mention the numerous memes about the rapper Future, which have dominated social media for years.
The reason we are so easily entranced by these malicious depictions of relationships is that they have been specifically designed to entertain. Other elements of various media forms, like a smooth melody or a captivating film aesthetic, make for great distractions from the unhealthy circumstances that are playing out in real-time.
The song "Hey Ya!" by Outkast has grown in popularity over the years for highlighting this very problem in the modern era. A song about a failing relationship where both parties are too afraid to leave was paired with an energetic instrumental and has since become known as a feel-good song and is even ironically played at weddings.
André 3000, one half of the duo, even points out the overlooking of poignancy in the song's lyrics: "Y'all don't wanna hear me, you just wanna dance."
A similar willful ignorance occurs regarding the Netflix series "You." The book-to-screen adaptation puts the viewer in the perspective of Joe Goldberg, an unassuming yet attractive man who quickly becomes infatuated with numerous women throughout the show. The obsessions grow to such extremes that he is willing to commit murder in order to maintain a relationship with them.
The show's popularity and clever casting have helped viewers easily forget that although Joe is the protagonist, he is still a bad person. In the most recent season, he is surrounded by unlikeable characters, which indirectly help make the murders seem justified.
Disturbing instances of stalking, similar to that of "You," happen in real life more often than people realize, so romanticizing it is disrespectful to those who have experienced this kind of trauma and potentially have to relive it due to the show's ubiquity.
This is all not to say that we should eradicate any mentions of imperfection in relationships because that is equally dangerous. It is important to distinguish flaws that stem from real issues and to show more appreciation toward media that accurately displays them.
The "Before" Trilogy, considered by Cinephiles to be one of the best trilogies ever made, is known to capture all the complexities of love in a relatable way. Movies like these are needed to give everyone a better insight into what being in a proper relationship actually entails.
So despite what the media portrays, be wary of any actions by your partner that are damaging to you or themselves and disguised as an act of passion. After all, passion comes from the Latin word "pati," which means to suffer.
Brandon Cruz is a senior in the School of Arts and Sciences majoring in journalism and minoring in digital communication information and media. His column, "One Million Percent," runs on alternate Thursdays.
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