Panelists react to Clementi, share stories

With a packed crowd of both members of the University community and the media, a town hall meeting was held on the College Avenue campus last night in remembrance of University first-year student Tyler Clementi.

The meeting, held in the Rutgers Student Center, opened with a musical tribute on violin to Clementi, who was also an aspiring violinist.

The meeting featured a mix of politicians and members of the community heavily involved in the lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender community who spoke about their experiences.

Chair and CEO of Garden State Equality Steven Goldstein, who organized the meeting, talked personally about his experience growing up as a gay man.

"When I was a student in the New York City public schools, I was beaten to a pulp," he said. "Kids would kick me in the shins and there were times when I wanted to take off."

Goldstein said the scars from being bullied are still with him 35 years later.

"I'm in therapy twice a week still talking about the kids who beat the living hell out of me. But you know what, it wasn't just because I was gay," he said. "I want everybody to know we are fighting for a world where not just gay people are bullied, but straight people as well. People get bullied just because they are different."

Goldstein spoke of an experience of a time after he won the spelling bee in school, when he was spit at because the other students thought he was too smart.

"It was the worst possible childhood and I wouldn't wish it on anybody," he said. "But I tell you my story because it gets better. Never, never lose hope young people. It gets better."

To ensure the public present at the meeting that their politicians are working on such harassment issues, New Jersey Sens. Frank Lautenberg and Robert Menendez discussed what they are doing to prevent situations like Goldstein's.

"Tonight, we call on one another to stand back on the bigotry and harassment that forced [Tyler Clementi] to take his life at 18 years of age," Lautenberg said. "In order to make sure colleges and universities stand up to their responsibility, I intend to propose legislation to end harassment and persecution on college campuses."

Lautenberg continued, adding no student should face harassment or bigotry on a college campus, especially one like the University's.

"It's got to stop once and for all. Young people have to learn to respect and not ridicule differences in people," he said. "Right now there is no federal law to protect students from harassment and bullying, and I want to change that."

Lautenberg said nearly 160,000 students skip school because of abuse from fellow students, noting children cannot learn if they do not attend school and it must stop.

"I would ask that we all pledge this evening that we will do whatever we can to eliminate this distinction, to eliminate the bullying and say we are proud of you and we will do everything we can to make that the rule instead of the exception," he said.

Following Lautenberg, Menendez started off his speech by paying his respect to Clementi and his parents, recognizing the tragedy that hit the University.

"They lost a son, we lost a fellow Scarlet Knight. Many lost a friend, a gifted violinist and the world lost a fellow human being that was in the spring of his life," he said. "We come together to mourn the loss of the young talented New Jerseyan who felt so marginalized by what happened to him that he felt the need to take his own life."

Menendez said in order to prevent another death like Clementi's, it is necessary to understand the effect of discriminating the choices of individuals and the privacy of an individual and the new realities of a digital age.

"One is a problem that remains destructive until this day and the other is something so new it would not have been a factor a decade ago," he said. "But both need to be addressed."

Menendez said University students and younger people need to be well educated in the power of the digital age, even if they feel they are technologically competent.

"[The Internet] has improved our lives in so many ways, and yet it has a deeply dark underside as well," he said. "How do we emphasize a moral imperative in a way to our young adults and teens of the global village, where everyone is connected but identities are blared by a false sense of anonymity?"

Menendez said no matter how tech savvy the younger generation is, education is still needed to make sure this generation knows the power of the Internet.

"The same Internet that makes the entire world accessible to us also has the potential to make us accessible to the entire world," he said. "The same Internet that can broadcast a baby's first steps to its proud grandparents can also broadcast a shy freshman's most private moments to millions of computer screens in remote corners of the planet."

Menendez recognized the state has come a long way with anti-discrimination laws, but there is still a long way to go, and he is determined to make sure these laws are strengthened.

"We will look at whether or not we have the opportunities through federal sources to fund serious school efforts to try and ensure that, both on the education side and enforcement side, we have real opportunities to change the course of events we have heard from the young people here today," he said.

One of the students who spoke at the meeting was 22-year-old Daniel Jacobson of Middlesex County, who spoke of his hardships dealing with abuse in grade school and high school.

Jacobson was part of a student panel that spoke of their struggles of having to deal with abuse throughout grade school and high school, with little attention given to abuse in the college atmosphere.

Jacobson held back his emotions as he conveyed to the crowd the horror of having to deal with abuse for his sexual orientation.

"The school did not give a clear message that bullying was not tolerated. It does happen and it still does happen and no teen or adult should know what it is to feel like I did," he said. "Not a day goes by when I don't think about it, but it does get better."